Power of thoughts
by factis
Summary: When the person you love is standing in front of a gun, then you don t think twice. You will save him, even if this means that your life will end in that exact moment. Set after twilight.
1. Prologe & Chapter 1

PROLOGE

Okay, so, sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we are going to regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after.

I mean, maybe not regret, because at least you know you saved the person you love.

But...still.

Something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know will probably kill us and hurt everybody around us.

Yet, we do it anyway.

Chapter1

I remember when i was a little kid and believed in fairy tales. I was dreaming how my life would turn out – castle, prince charming who would carry me away with his white horse. Now, when i do not believe in this crap, it turns out that my fantasies came true, but they are just slightly different than i dreamed.

The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it is not so important, when i can have prince charming in my own bed.

And the white horse, well the horse is replaced with a expensive car.

„Bella!" said Edward with a weird expression on his face.

„Mh, what?"

„I have been trying to get your attention for minutes. What were you thinking of?" he asked. Edward always needs to know my thoughts, well why shoul i hide them from him.

„I was thinking about fairy tales" I said honestly.

Edward just laughed and shook his head .

„What??" I asked. I really don´t like when he does that.

„Nothing, I just...I just love you, thats all" said Edward with a smile on his face.

Suddenly Edward pointed to the door and jumped out of the window. Great... Charlie couldn´t pick a better time to wake up.

I came out of the bead and went to take a shower.

I have always wanted to be like others. And i have tried so hard to be an ordinary person. Everyone, who have tried it, know how imbossible this mission is.

When I came out of the shower I was suprised of my own thoughts. I don´t understand where my thoughts are coming from.

„Come down to eat, Bella" yelled Charlie. Does he think that I am deaf. I think the whole Forks just heard him. Charlie put my breakfest on the table and went out of the door to drive to the police station. I just ate and let my mind wander.

To understand myself, I have to go to the beginning. This is possible, I guess. Humans brain is amazing, it can remember everything. Well I just have to make those thoughts come up. That is complicated. It seems i can´t read myself. Thats why i have to ask a question: Why? And after every answer, I have to ask myself the same question over and over again til I reach the beginning.

Argh, my head is going to blow up, I just have to stop thinking. Yeah, right like thats ever going to happen.

Perfect! Someone just rang the doorbell. I wonder who can that be? Yeay, okay you guessed right, its my prince charming on foot.

„Edward I´m coming, wait for a second." I threw my plate into the sink and ran to the door.

Damn, I hit my hand against the wall. Ouch! Great, just wonderful.

Finally I made it to the door.

„Hi, Ed...?"

This was definitely not Edward, but it was a vampire. Fortunately, his eyes were golden.

At least sometimes fate is on my side.

„Hi I´m Chris" said the stranger.

But from experience, i know that fate is a funny thing and it always changes sides. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions...Fate wins anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don´t own anything, but I think you already knew that ******

_Previously:_

„_Hi I´m Chris" said the stranger._

_But from experience, i know that fate is a funny thing and it always changes sides. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions...Fate wins anyway._

„Hi, I´m Bella"

He just looked at me several minutes. He was starnge, no... very, very starnge. My cheeks started to go pink and then he fianlly opened his mouth.

„Nice to meet you Bella, I´m here on Edwards request. He had to go to eat, if you know what I mean."

Whats that supposed to mean. He is irritating me. For cryn out loud, I really don´t like him. And if you asked me WHY?, I wouldn´t know how to answer to you.

But still I don´t like him, Edward wouldn´t send a stranger at my door, would he?

„Yeah, sure emm.. Come in then?" I said. Well, at least I am polite. He just gave me a strange smile.

I don´t like him at all, last time I felt this way, was when I met James. Memories sent shivers down my spine. Sometimes remembering is an awful thing. It´s scary when all the memories, you have tried to shake off, are following you as a shadow. People who don´t have bad memories, are really blessed.

Sometimes I just wanna go back and prevent all those incidents , that follow me where-ever I go.

„I see you like to daydream." Chris commented.

„What?..No..I just. What are you doing here exactly?" I asked, Now I absolutely detest him. What is his problem?

„I told you Edward sent me." laughed Chris.

„Yes, I figured that one out all on my own, but why do I need a bodyguard?"

He just shruged his shoulders. God, he is irritating me everytime I have to look at him. It seeme we are going to be best friends. Fantastic!

„Bella, do you like to lose control?" he asked.

„No!" I snapped. Gosh I really wasn´t going to answer his stupid question. I kicked myself mentally. Me and my big mouth.

„Why?" asked Chris focusing his gaze on me. Well, I guess now I have to answer that question too. I don´t like to look like a moron. But what do I answer him. That is one crazy question. He is really strange.

„I think no one likes to lose control, because it´s a sign of weakness." I answered honestly.

Chris just smiled at me. What is his problem??

It´s just me, he is actually totaly normal person, well err.. vampire. It´s just me, It´s just me. Argh, who the hell am i kidding. Something is strange about him. Something very strange, but I can´t but my finger on it.

„Come on. Let´s go to the forest Bella."

Wow, hold on cowboy. Does he think I am that naive and I will just go with him to the end of the world.

„I´m not going to the forest with you!"

„Heh, Edward was right about you, he said you would respond like this." Said Chris.

„He did?"

My subconscious was practically screaming at me not to trust him. Because there really was no proof that Chris knows Edward.

„Edward is waiting for us there." He said with a concentrated look on his face.

Well, Chris is a vegetarian, whats the worst thing that could happen. Shivers were running once again down my spine. That thought scared me to death. Let´s rearrange that question. What´s the worst thing that could happen and I could bear the outcome? I don´t like this question either. Oh what ever.

„Fine lets go" I said and made my way out. Of course, Chris was closely behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still don´t own anything**

_Previously:_

„_Fine lets go" I said and made my way out. Of course, Chris was closely behind._

Chapter 3

When we arrived to the forest, I was really suprised that Chris was right. Edward was really standing there. I assume my instincts are getting better and better.

„Hi Edward!" I shouted and ran towards him.

Of course my foot got stuck and I was ready to fall, but Edward stopped this from happening.

„Careful love" said Edward with a crooked smile.

„Why haven´t you told me about Chris?" I decided to ask him straight. There is no reasons why I should stop my curiosity.

Oh, wait Chris was behind me.

I turned quickly around, but no-one was there. I didn´t imagined him did I. Well, I guess I have to wait for Edwards answer.

„Of course I´ve told you about Chris, multiple time even." Edward stated.

Well, at least I know he excists. My mind was having a tiny panic attack.

„No! You haven´t told me about him. I would´ve remembered." I answered.

„You know what I think, you just have been in your thoughts, when I´ve told you about him." Edward said smiling.

„I DO NOT daydream, Edward!" I said a little bit irritated, because he is the second person who says this today.

„OK, Bella, lets just drop it. Chris is our family friend." he explained gently.

„But why did you send Chr..." I was cut midsentenced, because Edward tensed.

„What?" I asked.

Edward relaxed and smiled.

„Edward, buddy, thought I was a threat!" Chris laughed. I turned around and saw him and just for the record I still don´t like Chris.

Edward isn´t some kind of buddy. Thats one idiotic thing to say. I turned around to ask something from Edward, but he was just smiling and watching Chris.

What now! I looked at Chris and he was smiling too and looked at Edward.

Are they in love? I chuckled no-one even noticed that.

Fine! I´m invisible don´t mind me.

„Maybe you want to get married and drive off into the sunset?" I asked.

Nothing changed, they still smiled and looked at each other.

Well, what ever.

I sat down on the ground and just waited. They have to move sometime. Right?

Suddenly Chris pulled out a gun.

WOW. What? Is he crazy?

They still both looked at each other. But then, Chris stepped a little bit closer and now Edward was standing in front of a gun. I jumped up.

Nobody moved.

Something in my gut told me Chris was going to shoot Edward. In a blink of an eye I was in front of Edward. And then I heard a shot...

Chris gave me the gun, smiled, and gave me a kiss on top of my head.

Still, I could only think about my accomplishments: I didn´t trip when I ran in front of Edward. Hurray, for me, but it was suddenly chilly in here and I still had a gun in my hand.

„Bella, why did you do it?" Edward asked hysterically.

I didn´t understand what was wrong, everything was fine except I got a strange feeling in my stomach. I touched my belly with my free hand. There was something wet. I raised my hand and it was covered with blood. Blackness was trying to run me over. I saw that neither Chris nor Edward breathed.

Suddenly I realised something. Guns don´t hurt vampiries.

I tried to laugh, but I only heard Edward talking to me.

„Bella, stay with me! Do you hear me? Don´t you dare to close your eyes!" Edward practically yelled.

But, I couldn´t do it.

Darkness won.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Reality says I don´t own anything**

_Previously: But, I couldn´t do it. Darkness won._

Chapter 4

Pain, it comes in all forms.

The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pain that we live with everyday.

Then there´s the kind of pain you can´t ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. It makes the rest of your world fade away until all we think about is how much we hurt.

How we manage our pain is up to us.

Pain.

We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it...and some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside.

Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least except it, hits way below the belt and doesn´t let up.

You just have to fight through, because the truth is you can´t outrun it, and life always makes more pain.

I tried to remember what happened to me. I was in terrible pain.

Then I remembered Chris shot me, that bastard.

I slowly opened my eyes.

It seems I am in a hospital and Charlie is sleeping next to my bed.

I tried to move and the pain almost swallowed me. Well, at least thinking doesn´t hurt, yet.

Then Carlsile stepped into my ward.

„Bella, you´re awake!" Carlsile whispered. I didn´t dare to speak.

Charlie woke up and looked at me.

„Bella, honey, say something! Are you alright?"

I wanted to answer him so bad, but I was afraid. Oh well here goes nothing.

„Ouch!" I said. Carlsile smiled.

„I´m going to doble your painkillers dose." Carlsile said while giving me more painkillers. I wanted to jump out of bed and hug him. Thank god, pain reduced to a more bearable level.

„Why did you do it?" Charlie asked.

„What?" I asked stupidly. Did he know what happened?

„Charlie we should let Bella rest." Carlsile said. Charlie just nodded saddly.

„I´m going home to shower and then I´ll be back." He said and went out.

After few seconds Edward stepped in and smiled anxiously. He took my hand and kissed my forehead. Carlsile just looked at us.

„Bella, why did you do it?" Edward asked.

„I...I mean..I wanted to protect you." I answered nervously.

„How was this kind of behaivor going to protect me?" Edward said maddly.

„Calm down, Edward." Carlsile said.

„I know it was wrong, but I assum..." I tried to explain, but Edward interrupted me.

„No Bella, this isn´t wrong thing to do, It´s forbidden. Do you understand!" Edward almost shouted. He was really angry, I could see it in his eyes.

„Why did you try to kill youself?" Carlsile asked.

„What?" I tried to jump up, but Edward pushed me gently down.

„I didn´t try to kill myself!" I nearly shouted. Whats wrong with them.

„Where did you get the gun Bella?" Edward asked.

Right now I am totally confused. What the hell are they talking about.

„The gun wasn´t mine, Chris tried to shoot you I stepped between you and him and got the bullet. Don´t you remember?" I started to get irritated.

„Bella, you went to the forest alone and shot youself. Me and Chris found you lying there. It was the worst thing I´ve ever seen. Why, bella... why did you do it?" Edward asked me while watching my every move.

I frowned. Did I wake up in a different dimension or something? Is this somekind of sick cosmic joke?


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I still don´t own anything. Stay tuned, things can change**

_Previously: „Bella, you went to the forest alone and shot youself. Me and Chris found you lying there. It was the worst thing I´ve ever seen. Why, bella... why did you do it?" Edward asked me while watching my every move._

_I frowned. Did I wake up in a different dimension or something? Is this somekind of sick cosmic joke?_

Chapter 5

„I. Did. Not. Try. To. Kill. Myself.!" I said slowly.

But I started to lose faith in myself.

„Bella, you´re going to see a therapist" said Carlsile.

Maybe I was that messed up. I hate this feeling.

Everyone are watching me like I was going to kill myself every second now. Why on earth should I kill myself? My life was fantastic. I mean IS fantastic. What is wrong with me.

I am not suicidal.

Chris was holding a gun NOT ME.

But then again we only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth.

„Bella, BELLA!" Edwrd shook me gently.

„Mh what?"

„Are you even listening to us?" Edward asked.

„I don´t know Edward... What if I was trying to kill myself." I said and couldn´t help the tears running down my cheeks. Edward hugged me tightly and told me it was all going to be alright.

„Hi guys!" said Chris while stepping into the room.

„How are you Bella?" Chris asked.

„I´ve been better." I watched straight into his eyes. I felt like he was mocking me.

I don´t like him.

Maybe I am crazy.

„We have to give Bella a rest." Ordered Carlsile.

„Everyone were starting to get out. Edward kissed my forehead.

„It´s gonna be alright" Edward soothed and stepped out of the room with everybody else.

I believed them now.

It seems I did try to kill myself. I needed help a lot of professional help.

I sat in my ward and I believe all four walls of this room are watching me.

„Why are you believing them?" asked the the one-eyed man on the painting.

Wow...Well now it´s perfectly clear. I am officially crazy. Painting is talking to me. Fantastic.

„What are you doing? Are you crazy?" asked the painting.

„Yes, I am." I agreed with my hallucination. I am crazy.

„It´s good you understand it yourself." The one-eyed man said and then grinned. Great! The one-eyed man on the painting doesn´t stop talking.

„Not a single normal human wouldn´t act this way! Why are you believing them? Chris is laughing behind your back!"

„Yeah I know he´s laughing behind my back, they all are" I was becoming really anxious. I think too much.

„It´s all your fault, you ruined it all. You have to believe in yourself." Said the handkerchief next to my bed. „Bella, you have to believe us."

I snorted. It seems I have to believe a handkerchief and the one-eyed man on the painting.

„You are a fool!" said the painting.

„Yes I know" I answered.

„You can to this" said the flowerpot on the windowsill. „You have to play with can´t tell them what are you´re real thoughts. Chris is fooling all of them. You have to ignore him. Let him make a mistake!"

„I can´t...I...Ijust can´t to this" I said with a tear in my eye.

„YOU HAVE TO!" yelled the one-eyed man.

„I´m afraid to lose Edward" I said and started crying. „Edward would leave me. Trust me. Why would he stay with me. He doesn´t love me that much."

„Of course he doesn´t love you" said the flowerpot triumphantly „You are not worth him if you just give up."

„Look at yourself!" said the handkerchief reprovingly.

„NO!" I yelled. I stopped crying and just tried to gather up my thoughts.

I´m going to ignore that paintings and flowerpots are talking to me. I can to this I´m not a wuss.

Well, Ok, what to I have to lose.

_Edward._

My subconsciousness jus has to ruin everything. I have to fight no matter what.

I am a stone. I am an island. I am right and they are all wrong.

What an easy mission to accomplish.

„Don´t be so sarcastic!" said the one-eyed man on the painting.

**A/N: ****Let's play horse. I'll be in the front and you just be yourself!**** I can´t get this sentence out of my head. Little help, please. =)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: My mom says I don´t own anything, but she said I am special.**

_Previously: I am a stone. I am an island. I am right and they are all wrong._

_What an easy mission to accomplish._

„_Don´t be so sarcastic!" said the one-eyed man on the painting_.

Chapter 6

After few weeks I could finally go home. I was getting so called professional help, but nothing tremendous never happened there.

Days passed and now I am sure that Chris is somehow manipulating Cullens.

I´ve watched him closely every second of the day. And I finally made some progress.

It seems Chris has a power and it doesn´t work on me.

Lucky me, I guess.

I think Chris is somekind of hypnotist, he works with his eyes.

He watches his prey closely in the eye and somehow the victim is ready to do everything and believe everything.

Of course with one exception....me. I don´t know is this a good thing or not. But I have to do something because I know he is planning something.

And I know that he knows that his power doesn´t work on me.

And I´ve come up with a plan.

I just have to talk to Edward and reveal him all my knowledge.

_NO!_

Oh, and one thing more my thoughts are talking to me. My thoughts don´t want me to tell anything to Edward. I believe my halluscinations in the hospital are somehow involved with my thoughts. Its like I have another person inside of me. I know it sounds like I´m crazy, but I´m not. Trust me.

My thoughts are always telling me what to do, but I have a slighlty different opinion.

Carlsile told me to rest at home. So I have to spend my days lying on a couch. I can´t go to my room, because Charlie won´t let me. Maybe I smother myself with a pillow or something.

Anyway at least Edward should be here every second.

Suddenly I heard a doorbell. Finally!

I slowly got up from the couch and made it to the door.

„Hi Edward!" I said.

„Good morning my love."

„So, how was your „hiking trip"?" I asked.

Edward chuckled and kissed me.

„Why are you nervous?" Edward asked.

I wasn´t nervous, was I? Gosh I´m like an open book.

„Edward I need to talk to you, can we go outside for a minute?" I asked.

Edward understood that I didn´t want to talk in Charlies hearing range.

„Whats wrong? Edwrad asked.

I tried to take deep breaths.

_This is a very bad idea! _

Oh, shut up. I am arguing with myself. I hope this isn´t a sign of any mental illness.

I chuckled nervously.

„Well you see Edward, I have to tell you something about Chris."

„Go ahead" said Edward and I talked to him about my thoughts concerning Chris. I also told him that Chris did try to shoot him.

When I ended my monologe I watched anxiously at Edward.

His eyes were empty for a second and then looked at me.

„I knew it!" said Edward.

I relaxed, every muscle in my body relaxed. And I told mentally to my thoughts: I told you so.

_Don´t be so sure about it._

I sighed and wanted to hug Edward.

He pushed me back.

„Don´t.." said Edward.

„Whats wrong?" I asked and my hands started shaking.

„You are crazy! I should have seen it a long time ago. You are trying to seperate Chris from my family. You´re jealous and crazy. I can´t even find a thing what I saw in you. Don´t come near me anymore." Said Edward harshly.

I froze.

No. No. No.

_He says these things because he is under Chris´ power. It´s all his fault. Don´t take Edwards words seriously. _

_Oh and one thing more: I TOLD YOU SO._

What have I done.

**A/N: I hope I chased away you´re confusion. Feel free to ask questions if you don´t understand. I promise I won´t bite....very hard.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Look at the last one. Nothings changed.**

Previously: No. No. No.

_He says these things because he is under Chris´ power. It´s all his fault. Don´t take Edwards words seriously. _

_Oh and one thing more: I TOLD YOU SO._

What have I done.

Chapter 7

We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves.

The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we´ve done, or that has been done to us.

Sometimes the damage catches us by suprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can´t even see.

I was just standing there, Edward was long gone.

I didn´t know was it rain or my tears running down my cheeks.

I felt like everything inside me was going to break down. World stopped spinning and everything seemed so meaningless.

I wanted to change everything so bad. I tried to breathe normally, but I couldn´t do it. Every thought, every movement hurt.

_It´s Chris´ fault._

„SHUT UP!" I yelled and fell down on my knees. My feelings were all over the place.

I wanted to beat up something.

I wanted to roll over and die.

I wanted to never move from there.

I wanted to rip out my heart with my own hands, because it hurts too much.

I wanted to...wanted to...

_Get up and be strong. Make a plan. _

I snorted.

Rain was relaxing my muscles.

_Get up! Charlie can never know whats going on._

I got numbly up and moved to the door.

„Bella!" Charlie yelled.

„I´m coming" I said with no emotion.

„You´re going to be sick if you stand in the rain so long"

„I´ll go to sleep. I´m tired." I said

„Good night Bells!" yelled Charlie in front of the TV.

I slowly got up the stairs and went to my room. I sat on my bed and tried to focus. Everything hurt too much.

This is where I say I´ve had enogh, and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now. I feel like a walking open wound.

_You´ll be fine._

I don´t believe that I´m getting any better.

I think we all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. The shoe fits Cinderella, the frog turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales, the stuff of dreams. The problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories, the ones that begin with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. It's the nightmares that always seem to become reality.

The person that invented the phrase "Happily ever after" should have his ass kicked, so hard!

Soon enough I fell asleep and didn´t see any dreams.

The worst part about having to fall asleep when you have a broken heart is having to wake up, because right when you start to open your eyes you are about to feel happy until you realize you´re life is terrible and the pain nearly swallows you whole.

Why didn´t the bullet just finish me off?

_Don´t think like that._

„Get a life" I said quietly to my thoughts. You are resposible for what happened. Are you happy now?

_Firstly this is all Chris´ fault. Secondly I warned you, but you didn´t listen._

„Shut up!" I said yet again quietly. The last thing I need right now is Charlie hearing that I talk to myself.

Maybe Edward was right, maybe I am crazy.

_Here we go again._

I wanted to punch myself.

_Make up a plan to destroy Chris._

I snorted. Yeah, me clumsy Bella fighting with a powerful vampire Chris.

I think that happiness is an ongoing battle and I wonder if it isn´t one I´ll have to fight for as long as I live. I wonder is it worth it.

_It´s worth it. Remember which does not kill you only makes you stronger._

„Well, maybe some of us are sick and tired of being so damned strong!" I said quietly.

I feel so empty inside. Maybe its a good thing. My life is never complete without Edward.

I guess my destiny is to live in mental hospital with my crazy thoughts and pain. I sighed and a single tear rolled down my cheek.

There was nothing I wanted to do today. Living seems like a burden, I have to carry.

_Make a plan._

„SHUT THE HELL .. Oh wait!" I smiled „I´ve got a plan!"

**A/N: Loved the New Moon trailer. Especially the part: RUN JAKE!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Sorry guys, still don´t own anything.**

Previously: I guess my destiny is to live in mental hospital with my crazy thoughts and pain. I sighed and a single tear rolled down my cheek.

There was nothing I wanted to do today. Living seems like a burden, I have to carry.

_Make a plan._

„SHUT THE HELL .. Oh wait!" I smiled „I´ve got a plan!"

Chapter 8

_Finally! Whats the plan?_

The more I thought about the plan the more I liked it.

I´m going to find Edward and talk to him. Until he realizes what kind of jerk Chris is. But I need to talk to Edward alone, ofcourse.

_Thats your plan?_

„Shut up!" I said

My life, my rules so just shut the hell up!

„Bella, is everything okay, why did you yell earlier?" Charlie asked while stepping into my room.

Oops!

„Emm.. Char.. I mean dad. Good morning! I just emm.. hit my mm.. toe. And I just had to yell. Sorry!" I wasn´t very convincing, but it seemed that Charlie believed me.

„Ok, Bells. Anyway I´m going to work and you WILL stay at home. Do you understand me?" Charlie asked.

„Yes, dad, I think I´m going downstairs and listen some music" I said and added to myself that after Charlie was gone at least 5 minutes I was going to the Cullens house.

I sat on the couch and turned on the radio.

----

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken lo...

---

I closed the radio rapidly. I didn´t like this song. It was too...

_Real?_

I ignored my thoughts and went to my truck.

When I finally arrived to my destination my hand started nervously shaking.

I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself.

I knocked on the door. Nothing.

I knocked again, louder. Still nothing.

„I know you´re there Edward, you´re car is here!" I yelled.

Door opened.

„What do you want Bella?" Chris asked irritated.

„I.. I want to talk to Edward."

„You can´t always get what you want, lunatic"

Gosh, I loathed him so much. I realised I have to make a compromise.

„I need to talk to Edward one last time. I promise after this conversation. I won´t bother you and Cullens anymore." I pleaded.

He seemed satisfied. It´s probably the thing he wanted.

„Fine!" Chris said.

Edward came out. His eyes were full of rage.

_Be careful!_

„Lets go to the forest, where we can speak without others hearing us." I said.

This better work!

„What do you want?" Edward asked.

At least no one can hear us now.

„I need to tell you about Chr...!" I was cut midsentenced.

„Just drop it, get over it already. Find yourself a life. Don´t cling to me like a little lost puppy." Edward said harshly.

Every word he said cut me deep. What if...

_STOP IT! If you´re here already then don´t doubt in yourself. If you give up now, then thats it!_

My mind was right, but it was so hard.

„You have let Chris destroy you´re reality." I said quietly.

„Look at yourself for one second. Don´t you see how pathetic you are?" asked Edward.

I started to think maybe there really is no cure for Edward.

_Give it a try!_

„Edward, please, just please believe me." I pleaded.

„Go and beg in the church Bella!" Edward said.

This is not Edward talking, its Chris´ fault. I told myself that sentence over and over and over again.

„This is not you Edward. You´re not like that" I said.

„Then you don´t know me at all, psycho!" Edward said."Stay away from me. You´re like a gum under my shoe."

„Edward, this is not you!" I tried to explain again.

„Don´t talk to me ever again and don´t you dare to come close to me ever again or else I swear I..." Edward shouted.

NOW I was mad.

„Or else what Edward! Huh? Or else you will KILL ME." I shouted right back. Edwards eyes went black, but I continued. I needed to get everything out. „Is that what you want dead meat named Bella? Edward are you really that weak? I thought you were stronger, that YOU won´t ever let Chris manipulate you or your family. Because if you are, then go ahead kill me. NOW!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Edward raised his eyes and looked into my eyes. Then he fell down on his knees and rested his head on his hands.

„Who is he?" Edward asked quietly. „What did he do to me? Bella, I... I´m sorry. I don´t.... I.... If you..."

I kneeled beside him and wrapped my arms around him.

„It´s all Chris´ fault. You did nothing wrong." I said, now totally relaxed.

Thank god he snapped out of this transe. At least now I have an ally do fight against Chris. I´m not alone anymore.

_You were never alone._


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Do I even have to anymore? Fine, look at the last one.**

Previously: „It´s all Chris´ fault. You did nothing wrong." I said, now totally relaxed.

Thank god he snapped out of this transe. At least now I have an ally do fight against Chris. I´m not alone anymore.

_You were never alone._

Chapter 9

...

Sometimes there are things you just can´t help but talk about.

Some things we just want to hear, and some things we say because we can´t be silent any longer.

Some things are more than what you say, they´re what you do.

Some things you say because there´s no other choice.

Some things you keep to yourself.

And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

„What are we going to do?" I asked from Edward who finally stand up. I didn´t want to let go of his hand not even for a second. And I believe he felt exactly the same.

„WE are not doing anything, I am going to fix everything!" said Edward calmly.

„No way, you are not going to do this alone. If you fall into Chris´ trap again, I´m not sure I´ll be able to get you out again." I said and started to panic.

„Bella, I can´t put you in danger." Edward explained.

„And I can´t lose you again. You need me to fight against Chris. We´ll find a way!" I promised.

Edward looked at me hesitantly and then sighed. „ What am I going to do with you, Bella. Fine, you can help me. At least I can keep my eye on you."

„I do not need a babysitter. If you would´ve declined my help, I would´ve gone home and emm.. cook something for Charlie." I answered.

Edward laughed. „ Do you except me to believe that you would have gone home? I am not that stupid Bella, I know you well enough."

„Fine, you´re right!" I pouted

„So, do you have a plan?" Edward asked.

„No. You?"

„Same here" Edward said and looked at me.

_I have a plan._

I nearly jumped five feet high, I totally forgot that part of me.

„What´s wrong?" Edward asked.

„Oh, nothing. I just saw a emmm... a spider. Yeah spider. Really big and ugly spider." I answered.

„Sure you did." Chuckled Edward.

So whats your plan? I asked mentally from my thoughts.

_Now you´re listening to me? What a honor!_

Whats your plan then...?

.....

Silent treatment huh? Fine! I´m sorry, I didn´t listen to you.

_Chris works with his eyes, so he needs to see his victims eyes. But if Edward wears contact lenses ..._

„...HE can´t infulence the victim." I shouted.

Edward raised his eyebrow. Did I say that aloud. Great!

„Oh, you know Edward we..I mean I have a plan." I said and told him everything what my thoughts were planning.

After my monologe, he looked at me long time. After few minutes he smiled.

„Fine lets do it." He said and kissed me.

Firstly we went to the store and bought contact lenses. When we stepped out of the store, he asked: „Are you sure about this?"

_YES!_

„Yes, I am." I answered.

Let the games begin. We made our way back to the house. I breathed deep and Edward stormed in the house. I was closely behind him.

„Why is SHE in this house?" Chris asked.

„Yeah, why is a lunatic in our house?" Alice asked.

Edward frowned. „This lunatic wanted to spend her last night in this house. Then she promised to leave us finally alone."

Chris looked at me with a furious face. This better work.

_It will work!_

Then Chris concentrated on Edward. God I hope this works.

„What happend in the forest?" Chris asked.

„ Bella begged me to take her back and that I should believe him that you are responsible for the shooting. So, I agreed to her terms. After that night we are finally free from her." Edward speaked fast and he send deadly looks to me. That freaked me out for a second.

„Fine!" Chris shouted.

I breathed out. So far so good. Now, Edward will try to find out, what Chris is planning.

I sat on the couch. I had a feeling that we forgot something.

_Don´t worry so much. Everything is going to be fine._

Still, I feel something is wrong. Then the doorbell rang.

Crap!! How could I forget. Charlie!!

Jasper opened the door and I saw furious Charlie behind it. Fantastic!

„HOME; NOW!" Charlie yelled.

„Dad, please I´m sorry, I totally forgot. But I´m fine,you see. Can I stay here for the night." I pleaded.

Chris looked smug. Jerk!

„I TOLD YOU not to leave from the house! You´re coming home right now!" Charlie said furiously.

I knew I couldn´t fight with Charlie. I had to go with him. God I hope Edward can handle this.

_Of course he can. GO!_

„Fine lets go home," I said.

Drive to home was dead silent. Thank god!

As soon as we were home, I went to my room.

I was nervous, no. I was more then nervous thats for sure. I opened my bedroom window and hoped for Edwards visit. I sat on my bed and felt exhausted. And instantly I fell asleep.

...

**A/N: Few chapters left... I hope you have enjoyed this story as much as I. **


	10. Chapter 10 & Epiloge

**Disclaimer: For the last time I don´t own anything.**

Previously: I was nervous, no. I was more then nervous thats for sure. I opened my bedroom window and hoped for Edwards visit. I sat on my bed and felt exhausted. And instantly I fell asleep.

...

Chapter 10

A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, pain and the play by play. And then there are the more solitary games. The games we play all by ourselves. The social games, the mind games. We use them to pass the time to make life more interesting... to distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games, any games. And there are those of us who love to play a little too much.

Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose, or draw, the game is on. So go ahead... argue with the ref, change the rules, cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds. But play. Play. Play hard, play fast... play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. Okay, so it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game... right?

„Are you listening to me?" Charlie asked.

„Emm, yeah. You´re going back to work next Tuesday!" I answered

„Hmm. Ok Bells. I´m going to watch TV then."

Edward didn´t come that night... and he didn´t come the next night either. He hasn´t even contacted me. Whoever said „what you don´t know can´t hurt you" was a complete and total moron. Because as far as I know not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.

_Calm down!_

How the hell can I calm down? Charlie doesn´t let me out of the house. I´m going crazy. If I weren´t crazy earlier then now its probably happening.

_Don´t worry!_

How Can I not worry? I´m sorry I´m only human.

Maybe I should give him a ca...

_Do not call them!_

Fine! As you wish, majesty. You´re wish is my command.

Suddenly I heard a doorbell. I nearly run to the door. I opened slowly the door.

„Edward!" I shouted and hugged him.

Edward laughed.

„Can we go in?" Edward asked.

„Yeah, sure"

„Hi, Edward!" Charlie yelled in front of a Tv.

We went to the citchen, so Charlie couldn´t hear us.

„So..?" I asked.

„So..?" Edward asked right back.

„Don´t play a fool. You know what I mean."

„I took care of it. You don´t have to see chris ever again" Edward said.

„How?... I mean you kicked his ass, like really killed him?"

„Well, I was part of the killing process." Edward said hesitantly.

„Cut the crap, Edward and tell me exactly what happened." I demanded.

He looked into my eyes.

„You don´t want to know details, bella."

„Please..." I said and looked deeply into his eyes.

„Thats not fair Bella. You can´t use that word as a weapon."

I didn´t say anything and kept looking into his eyes. Yhen he sighed.

„OK, just don´t look at me with those puppy dog eyes. You know its my weakness and its not fair if you use that against me." He said.

„Go on.." I said.

„ Well I can tell you that Chris wanted to... emm how can I say this... well he sort of wanted to gather up the army of powerful vampiries. Then with his army he wanted to destroy Voulturi and take over. I gave few anonymous tips to Aro and he took care of Chris. After his permanent death my family regained control over them. Thats it."

_WOW_

„So thats it, everything is back to normal?"

„Well as normal as they can be" Edward said and chuckled.

I just sat there and waited for all the information to sink in.

_Lets kiss him!_

I laughed. I still hear voices in my head. So thats not changed, yet.

_What do you mean, yet?_

„Whats so funny?" Edward asked

„Emm...nothing I´m just relieved."

Edward shifted his gaze to the living room for a second.

„Whats wrong?" I asked

„Charlie wants to tell you something, he thinks you´re old enough to know."

„What?" I asked

„I better go, he wants to talk in private. I´ll see you tonight in your room." Edward said and went out. I didn´t even have time to react.

„Bella, you´re a grown-up now and I need to tell you something." Charlie said.

This can´t be good. My instincts told me to run away as far as possible. He doesn´t want to talk about sex, does he?

„When you were born, emmm well, even before that. Doctors said to your mother and I that she waited twins. But I guess one of you had to emm,..die and the resistant one survived. Thats you. I know this is a very big news. But you´re mother asked me to tell you that when you were in Renees belly you had a twin sister."

I was shocked, grown-up my ass.

I just sat there and watched emptiness.

_Hello, sister._

...

EPILOGE

Theres no such thing as a grown-up. We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But for the most part we´re still a bunch of kids running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.

.........................THE END....................................

...

**A/N: Well, guys thats it. Hope you enjoyed the ride. I have an idea for the sequel, but I´m bit reluctant to start it. I´m not motivated enough for now. Let´s say stress is trying to run me over. Tell me if you are intrested in sequel, then I can decide. Heres a little preview.**

_**I could see it in his eyes, Edward didn´t believe me. Why on earth I have to put up everything alone. I know I can´t handle this alone. So what are the consequences if I step into this battle alone. Probably I will lose...everything and she will take over...everything.**_

**Yes you heard right Bellas sister wants to live at Bellas expense.**

**NOW YOU HAVE A LICENCE TO REVIEW!!**


	11. SEQUEL s 1st Chapter

_**I could see it in his eyes, Edward didn´t believe me. Why on earth I have to put up everything alone. I know I can´t handle this alone. So what are the consequences if I step into this battle alone. Probably I will lose...everything and she will take over...everything.**_

_**Prologe**_

Change; we don't like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying. But here's the truth: The more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change...Is..Everything.

Chapter 1

The truth is hard. The truth is awkward, and very often, the truth hurts. I mean, people think they want the truth, but do they really? The truth is painful. Deep down nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves.

I tried to lie to myself many months, but the truth is, I cant lie even to myself. She still excisted inside of me. Lurking trying to find her way out. I´m supposed to love her, right?

_You do love me, face it._

As I was saying it´s hard to ignore her, I´m not sure if she truly excists, but I know that I can´t erase her. 2 months I have been lying to myself, that she isn´t real, but now its time to take the plan B. The problem is I dont have a PLAN B, I was counting on Plan A. So what now?

_I have told you many times, now its my time to live 18 years. And then we will switch back. So come on fade away, take deep breaths. And.._

„STOP IT!" I yelled, Edward took hastily his hand off of me. „No, not you!" I said irritated.

„Whats wrong?" Edward asked a little bit shaken up by my rash behaivor.

„Nothing I just.." I was hit by thoughts in the middle of my sentence. What if I told Edward and he could help me, get rid of her.

_You know you hurt my feelings._

Shut up, just shut the hell up already.


End file.
